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“It’s OK because it enhances your relationship.
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“I’m telling them the opposite,” she said. And many don’t want to show emotion or examine their feelings. And that isn’t always the best response when dealing with a spouse or intimate partner. Veterans often feel the need to react quickly and forcefully, Knowlton added. Some may be coping with PTSD, but for others, they need to learn a different way to communicate than what they learned growing up or in the military. While everyone can learn from the skills taught through Strength at Home, the program addresses the unique needs of Veterans.
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“With Strength at Home they can learn how to do it better.” They just don’t know how to do it,” said Knowlton, the Intimate Partner Violence Assistance Program coordinator. “Most people want a healthy relationship.
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The above outcomes are two of many that Andrea Knowlton has seen since launching Strength at Home at the Milwaukee VA about a year ago. And that’s what I want to be for my children,” he said. “Strength at Home teaches me how to communicate in a better, nonviolent way, and it helps me be a better person. While the legal proceedings of his case and his pending divorce are sometimes vexing, Cruse said the skills he learned through Strength at Home have helped him better navigate those choppy waters. “The question is, ‘Why am I angry? Why am I sad?’ Being aware of that, I’m better able to deal with it.” “If I’m angry, that’s just the tip of the iceberg,” he said. “I think things through more, and if something isn’t going well, I take a timeout and then respond.”Ĭruse said the program helped him understand his emotions. “It helped me communicate in a better way,” he said. Program helps him navigate choppy watersĬruse enrolled in Strength at Home so he could better learn to communicate his feelings and needs without pointing fingers and getting angry. His wife is seeking a divorce and he has been unable to see his children, ages 4, 6 and 8. His journey brought him to Milwaukee VA, where he has gone through numerous programs to address his PTSD, curb his alcoholism – he’s been sober for more than 18 months – and hopefully repair his family. He failed, but after his recovery, he was jailed for five months and was facing numerous charges related to the suicide attempt, even though it happened away from his family and no one was endangered by it, he said. So he tried to kill himself with a firearm. In April 2020, he was awash in post-traumatic stress, depression, anxiety and alcoholism. “It worked, but I have to work on it every day.”įor Army Veteran Ricky Cruse, the Strength at Home program is one more step on a long path as he attempts to get his life back. “My family said, ‘You’ve changed a bit.’ I’m happy to hear that,” he added. And if you do, it gives you methods to diffuse them.”Ĭocroft said he and his family saw immediate, positive results from the program. Strength at Home helps you process a lot of different things so you don’t get into those situations. When you put those practices into play, it actually works. “I was able to communicate without that negative tone. It was for Cocroft, the smiling Veteran at the top of this blog post. He and his family saw immediate positive resultsĪ key part of the program is the exercises the participants are given to try out at home and in other situations where communication becomes strained. The program also covers verbal and nonverbal communication, showing appreciation, active listening, empathy, encouraging compromise and conflict resolution. This includes knowing when to take a timeout during an argument, using “I” statements to better express feelings, and learning how to be assertive instead of aggressive when communicating. Over the course of 12 weeks, Veterans meet in small groups and learn how to diffuse conflict, understand their anger and communicate more effectively. He soon found exactly what he needed in VA’s Strength at Home program, which is targeted to Veterans struggling with conflict and anger in intimate relationships. The incident made him realize he needed help. “I was arguing, having issues with my family,” Cocroft said. Nicknamed Groovy by his aunt because he rarely cried as a child, Cocroft, 52, found himself at wit’s end on that day in May. For James “Groovy” Cocroft, May 3, 2020, wasn’t so groovy.